That’s a mouthful, I know! But it’s true, my business is now something that can support me as an actual full time business and it started when my youngest was under a year old when I was a stay-at-home-mom. My youngest will start school in just a few days, and I have a business that is now ready for me to take care of it full time.

It wasn’t easy, but I tend to get singularly obsessed with something for long stretches of time. Back when I was making zero money, I would spend HOURS editing into the night, spend HOURS researching how-to-Instagram.

And now… over three years later, I am making regular income that sometimes even out paces my husband! All while balancing mom-life, the kids, the diapers, the midnight wake ups, the school drop offs. To be completely honest, recently my husband has had to take time off his work to watch our youngest because I am just so busy with this job that I built from scratch, with this crazy dream that I came up with sitting in a dark room, nursing a baby.

Let me tell you how I got there!

I was not getting clients at first. But I did whatever it took to get practice.

No surprise, but I thought all I needed to do was just make an Instagram account and I would be booked, just like that. I probably spent five to six months sitting at 32 followers, posting into the void!

Needless to say, I didn’t give up. I had a dream! I did a LOT of work for free. We had just moved to a new city, and I had few friends there to ask. And how many times can you ask your new friends to model for you, anyway? I didn’t want to bug them, but actually they were SO supportive and even insisted on paying me! I posted in a local facebook group asking, begging, to do free work for strangers. So many people took me up on it! I am still so grateful to those first clients that trusted me with their time.

I even had my husband ask other teachers that he worked with to model for me, and I ended up taking one teacher’s son’s senior graduation photos that way, and another teacher’s family photos. I literally begged neighbors in our neighborhood facebook page, and somehow one of our Opelika neighbors ended up knowing someone else that had moved to the Netherlands and we met up for coffee when we moved here!

As soon as I had a few clients in Opelika, AL our house suddenly sold and we moved to Dothan, AL with my husband’s parents for a few weeks while we waited on visas. I started getting new inquiries there and… we left the country!

I started setting up styled shoots in Central and South America

Listen, I’ve learned that I have a very high tolerance for awkwardness, because when I want something, I will do the most embarrassing things to make it happen. This is also kind of embarrassing to admit, because in general, I am pretty easy going. I’m not the loud one of any group, I will sit back and let everyone else talk, and I love to listen. But when I get attached to an idea, I will endure any amount of awkwardness or embarrassment, because the worse that can happen is people will say no. Like my immigrant father told me a bajillion times growing up, “You don’t get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.” This is probably a quote from the Matrix or a Tom Clancy novel, but I like to think my dad came up with it himself.

Anyway.

We decided to travel through Latin America for a few months since my husband John David used to be a Spanish teacher and we had time to kill before our Dutch visas were processed. JD really showed out, booking us the most amazing activities in each location. He’s now a travel agent (profile link here), so that pans out. But I absolutely could not let these amazing locations go to waste!

I did whatever it took to get the shots I wanted. Like using half a suitcase for Client Closet dresses on our trip, when we had sold everything we owned and were traveling with 5 bags to 6 different countries with two small children.

Like using the Instagram map to message people in the area if they would let me take their photos in random countries we were traveling in. Like walking up to a mom and daughter in Aguas Calientes who had clearly just hiked back down from Macchu Picchu if they would let me take photos of them. They said no.

But some people said yes! Our Airbnb host in Costa Rica got her friends to model for me on the beach. I did a maternity session in Colonia, Uruguay, with JD translating entirely in Spanish because I had the audacity to ask a local business owner would she like some free maternity photos. Still, one of the most gorgeous locations I’ve ever shot at, like ever.

Still made zero money so far. Okay, I had made a little bit back in Alabama. But in the real world, it wouldn’t even cover rent for one month. It was practically zero money.

I set up a website, and I blogged, and blogged, and blogged some more.

I remember clearly at one point, my husband getting frustrated because I would not spend time with him at night once the kids went to bed, I would just blog. Still making practically zero money. It was even harder here in Amsterdam than starting out in Alabama. I thought I knew no one in Opelika, but I didn’t even know the language here. Should I be blogging in Dutch? Normal SEO practices didn’t even touch multiple languages.

Real Clients???

Once I started getting real clients, it was like giving a hummingbird RedBull. I was excited. I was running all over the place. I hardly slept. I planned, I practiced. I made outfit guides, and visited locations prior to shooting at the exact time of day (I still do this, actually.)

Everything was snowballing. The giftbox I took home from a mom event and played with photographing turned into photographing that business owner’s wedding! A random mom and baby I photographed turned into a newborn session later. I got recommend. People started leaving reviews.

But What About the Mom Side of Things?

For the longest time, photography was something I did while my kids napped. When I had a session, JD would take the kids during my session, but I would handle editing and any other admin work during their naps. Thankfully, they love their sleep and took one 2 hour nap a day.

When my oldest started school, my youngest’s nap time was more squeezed short (if I put him down too early, he wouldn’t nap, but then we had to go get my oldest from school by 3).

For this year and a half, my time became extremely limited. I literally had 1.5 hours while he napped, and then maybe 40 minutes once we got home and they played together nicely or watched TV. But my business kept growing. And growing. JD started having to give me more and more time to work.

Some weeks it was all I could do to just keep up with the work, I wasn’t being proactive about marketing. I would go to community events if I could bring my youngest with me, but that was it.

I quickly learned that I could not edit images at night, once the sun had gone down. I need daylight to see color clearly. Anything edited at night would have to be redone in the morning. Which meant that I had around 2 hours every day to edit, if, and only if, my youngest decided to nap.

Trying to “Have It All”

It’s not possible. If anyone is growing a full time business and staying home with their kids 24/7, then they have help. They have a nanny, or a relative taking shifts, or a daycare. I will concede that if their business was established before they had kids, they could keep it up after a certain point after birth. But growing a new business, while your husband is also growing a new business, while being a good parent, doing puzzles on the floor, and cleaning pee from every piece of cloth in the house–probably not. It’s awful. I was making consistent income, but not enough for our whole family to survive off. I was having client calls with my youngest saying “Mom, Mom, Mom, MOOOOOOM” the entire time, despite me trying to prep him for having five minutes of mom-free time. I did not land that client.

And if he didn’t take his nap, it was awful because it meant that I was even more behind. I tried really hard not to be frustrated about the situation, I remember calling my dad once in tears one day when my youngest was resisting his nap. I was a literal blubbering mess because I just physically couldn’t do everything and I was so frustrated all the time. If he didn’t nap, I didn’t work. And at this point, with two new businesses, in a new country, we actually did depended on my income.

I had to learn how to deliver galleries faster. I started culling backwards (because the best images are at the end of the session). I started picking out one photo from each location and angle we shot in and editing all of those to be consistent with each other, then going back and bulk editing the rest of the images based on the sample ones I had picked out, and then doing another round of culling, then touch ups.

I was still getting busier!

I had to learn how to switch it off.

Because at this point, I could work 24/7 if I wanted to. And I wanted to. I was surprised by that. My parents have their own clothing store back home, and they worked constantly. They talked about work constantly. In the car, at dinner, over text. They provided excellently. But I swore I’d never own my own business, I’d never let it take over my life.

But here I was, an immigrant in a new country, just like my father, with a business that was demanding more and more of me.

At this point, it was winter of 2025, it was dark all morning in the Netherlands and started getting dark at 4pm. My youngest didn’t need a nap anymore and I just couldn’t stomach put him down for a nap during the only light part of the day. We were a good four months away from school starting. We applied for so many day cares and never got a spot. He was home with me, constantly.

JD had to give me more and more time to edit, hell, to just respond to new inquires! I particularly remember one client begging me to make this one day work for her, that she offered to pick me up from my newborn session’s house and drive me to a park for her family’s session. Remember when I was begging strangers on the internet to take their photos?!

Somehow We Got Here!

Somehow I have one more week left before my baby starts school (and he’s SO excited). Somehow I’ve made more income this year by mid Feb than I have the entire two years I worked in this business. Somehow!! (And I’m still scared! Scared that I will mess something up, that I will hurt my back again, that I will fail and we will have to move home. Did I mention I have anxiety?)

I had support. I had friends that encouraged me to do this in the first place. I had a husband that graciously took 4th place next to two kids and a new dream. I had parents that had started their own business on the other end of the line when I called to cry about how hard this was. I had new friends here with their own businesses cheering me on, inspiring me to dream even bigger than I ever thought was possible.

This business was still the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. I don’t know if you asked me to do it again, if I physically could. I has been a long couple of years. I have problems resting now, I don’t know how to stop searching for holes in the boat. I’m working on that this year, on turning it off and letting go after 5pm.

But, in case you’ve made it this far, here are the tips I have for starting a business with stay-at-home-toddlers. Godspeed.

Tips for Starting a Business with Stay-At-Home-Toddlers

1. Don’t look right in front of your wheels or you’ll fall off your bike.

Because you are working 1-2 hours a day, if you measure success by what you accomplished this week, or even this month, you will get nauseated and give up. If you instead look out far into the horizon and envision all the places you want your business to go, you won’t feel like throwing up. It’s steadying.

2. Let your husband confiscate your laptop.

There will come a time when he sees a crazy look in your eye. He’s been begging you to take a break for days. You should probably listen to him. The business you built probably won’t crumble overnight. The international clients that just messaged you at 9:45pm your time aren’t expecting a response back right now.

Continually refreshing your email and Instagram is not working and it’s also not resting.

3. Find other ways to be creative and don’t monetize it.

This is more for creative business owners. Being creative helps, but just have fun and don’t try to set up a passive income stream with it!

4. Learn to Give Up

When the kids aren’t napping, when they’re whining and you’re trying to finish up something. This is a great time to just put it down and enjoy being their mom. Just let it go. You’ll feel this freeness in your chest. It’ll take your eyes some time to not feel cross-eyed looking at something further away than your laptop, but it’ll feel better in a few minutes.

Ten more minutes of working while you’re getting more and more aggravated will ruin the rest of your night, dinner will be late, you’ll be grumpy. Whereas if you just stop now, you can have the kids in bed on time and have 30 minutes of calmer work than if you had just tried to power through a shitstorm.

5. Take Any Work You Get Offered

But my niche. My niche! I’m only supposed to niche! I have to value my work, I have to only put out what I want to receive. I have to prioritize my vision.

Nah, prioritize your bank account. Take the work. Just don’t blog it if you don’t want to. Don’t post it. But get paid!

6. Swap “Tomorrow” for “This Week”

When I had two clients a month, I could drop whatever I was doing and immediately send the form or answer their question. But as I got busier and busier, I learned that not everything is a “now” response. Sometimes I can be playing with the kids or watching a movie with my husband and just say, “Totally fine, I’ll get that to you next week.”

7. Tracking Your Cycle is Actually Helpful for Setting Work Expectations

Let me just say, I’ve never been let my period dictate what I can do. I’ve never ate differently around it, never rescheduled plans. I’ve always been a power through period girl. And in owning my own business as well, I try to give 100% of my energy to everything I do, all the time.

But I recently went to this talk by 3mbrace Health, formerly Mamamoon Health, and they talked about how period tracking can be beneficial in the workplace because your productivity levels are different throughout your cycle.

I learned that the phase right before your period, called the luteal phase, does reportedly cause lower productivity in ovulating women. Instantly, I realized this was true for me as well. Once I started managing my expectations for what I do at work that luteal week, I feel better about myself and overall goals.

It’s not that I just close my laptop and curl up on the couch and give up completely. But maybe I don’t expect myself to work every night after the kids go to bed until 2am. Maybe that’s not the week to expect me to handpaint a new canvas, or to set my goals for the year. Maybe that’s just the week to get my editing done and just respond to inquiries as they come in. Once I realized that my productivity levels were actually fluctuating and I wasn’t just “not feeling it,” I gave myself grace to listen to my body, knowing that if I respected it now, it would be able to do even more next week.

8. Self-care is not a hot shower

When the bills are looming, it feels ridiculous to stop working to work out or ask a friend for coffee. But if you don’t, you will go insane. Your body will deteriorate and your cup will be empty. You will spiral into refreshing your email because you are too tired to work and too scared to stop.

For me, because I work alone for the most part, it is really helpful to just talk to someone else, not even about work. I will text my neighbor down for a cup of coffee sometimes, or our friends will come over after the kids go to sleep (Having child-less friends is such a blessing because they can come over when your kids are asleep and just chill on the couch!) Taking time off work is so important, because when you come back to work, you’ll find that your head is clear and is actually excited about the new ideas you have.