We Failed Potty Training And I Think That’s Okay?

I enjoyed life on my high horse, I really did. “Oh, I just let my first son run around naked and he basically had it figured out by that night.” Sure, it was a lot of work. And I was eight months pregnant with my second. And life with a newborn and a toddler who-absolutely-had-to-pee-right-this-second was complicated to say the least. But we did it!

Well, then came baby #2. I tried a similar approach with him. We had tried a couple of times every few months or so, and it just wasn’t sticking, so I didn’t push it. When it did “stick,” we tried the sans-pants method, same as with my oldest. After a week, I pretty much had him 95% potty trained. He stopped having accidents, and he was doing poo in the big potty. We moved the floor potty out of the living room and to the bathroom.

And then my busy season started. Now, two months later, he’s back in diapers, and not using the potty at all, even the floor potty.

I just didn’t have the time to be a present parent AND be the pee-pee police AND edit photos at the kitchen table. I also threw out my back in June and couldn’t move at all for three days, which is really scary when your job is basically squatting and bending over to get the perfect shot. I was really scared I would hurt myself again lifting my son on and off the potty, right in the middle of fall sessions. Can we talk about how hard potty training is on your back?!!

Am I disappointed? Yes.

Does it feel like a huge waste of time? Yes.

Do I wish that we had just powered through and been done with diapers now? I’m not sure. I don’t think I could have handled powering through, and, let’s be honest, the “newly potty trained” period is a lot more stressful than the “still in diapers” period. My eye twitch has come back ( and taken over an entire quarter of my face right now). I really don’t think I could throw in the absolute panic that comes from hearing the words, “Mom, I gotta pee!”

Even though having failed potty training my 2.5 year old and being back in diapers is a sore spot for me now, I’m choosing to prioritize peace in this busy time. My plan is to start back potty training him after Christmas. Or after New Year’s if we decide to get out of Amsterdam. (I didn’t believe you guys last year about the noise, but you were right. It is insane!)

I’m 100% sure he will eventually be potty trained, and this will be just a blip on the radar for us. So yeah, we failed. That’s okay. We’ll try again.

If I had to go back and do it again, this is what I would have done.

1. Chosen a warmer time of year. It’s so much easier to let them run around naked or just get pants up and down when its not too cold and they’re not wearing a fluffy onesie pajama.
2. I would have bought a floor potty first. With our oldest, we got a floor potty first, but I tried to cut out the middleman with my second and train him on the big potty with an insert. Didn’t work. Was really hard on my back. Don’t recommend at all.
3. I wouldn’t have moved the floor potty too soon. Just accept the pee bucket in the living room. It’s better than literal poop in the trash.
4. I would have been a millionaire and not had to work at all! (Seriously thinking of doing this next time!) Honestly though, if you’re dreading potty training, or if you tried and gave up, you’re doing amazing. Motherhood is hard. Potty training is hard.